hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I want to fling myself into the sun
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
