Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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