Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
