1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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