Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
