very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
