I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
As shirtless as possible
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
