she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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