this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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