she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
