i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
