you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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