I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
