i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
