I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
