As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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