New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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