the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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