suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
