Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
