and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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