Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
