Your dad touched me again.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
