We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
