She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Randomize