Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
