She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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