What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
