I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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