i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
