you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
