I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
