i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
