I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
