She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
