Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Randomize
