my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
