I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
