I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
