So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
