I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
