Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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