Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
