Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
