Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
