That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
