Just cropdusted the office
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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