did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
