We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
