you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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