I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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