dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
