I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
